MOTHER

1sr March

Today I had an experience that put everything into prespective. I love to cook and whenever I cook, Riley my 3 1/2 year old sits up on the bench and he's in charge of the mixer. There's a little button on the front of the mixer which he calls the booster and today when I put the flour in to make the lemon cake and it's mixing nicely he pushes the booster button and flour goes everywhere. That was the first thing that annoyed me. Anyway whilst we were cooking we were eating these cheese and cracked pepper biscuits and I put the bowl near him so he could have some as well. I turned around and when I looked back the bowl was empty and the cake mixture was extra lumpy. All I could do was stand there as all the biscuits cracked and crumbled into the mixture. Then my blood started to boil. "Riley have you every had a cake that there was biscuits in?" "NO" he replied "well wasn't that silly " and believe me I didn't sound calm I sounded angry and cranky and would of looked like a psycho mother. After I settled down, I felt guilty of course for getting so cranky when it's not really a big deal. Then a knock came at the door and it's was the lady who lives next door's daughter. She came over to tell us that her mother had passed away last night and thought we should know. From our dining room table we can see their back verandah and I have watched as people have come and gone all day. Trying to imagine how much pain they must be going through. How could I possibly understand what life would be like without the glue that holds the family together(mum). Then I think back to getting angry at Riley for some biscuits in the cake mix and think how that's irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things. How I constantly get caught up in the day to day irrelevant details and often overlook the things that really matter. How lucky I am to have children at all, to have a family and good friends. I continually complain about not having enough money but you know, I have never missed a meal, my children always have clean clothes and we have a home even if it's not the flashiest. So as I look at the sad faces sitting up there on that verandah without their mother sitting along side I think how lucky I am to be sitting down here eatting my crunchy lemon cake.

kym